Singer Tabitha Nauser on her first year of motherhood: ‘Becoming a mum changed me for the better’

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Tabitha Nauser became a mum in October last year, welcoming a daughter. A year on, the 32-year-old singer and former Singapore Idol contestant reflects on the whirlwind of new motherhood and how it’s reshaped her life. 

Congrats on the first year of motherhood. How would you describe the past year?

This past year has been equal parts euphoric and challenging, but in all the ways I didn’t quite imagine or predict. It’s just been so beautiful. 

How did you celebrate your daughter’s first birthday?

(My partner) Louie and I decided to celebrate her birthday in Thailand. We wanted this first birthday to just be for the three of us, so we could take it all in and reflect on the past year.  

It was emotional – my TikTok algorithm kept giving me these bittersweet videos of mums at their kids’ first birthday parties, crying because they were getting flashbacks of their tiny little newborns, and that was so me. I have become the biggest emotional faucet since becoming a mum.

What have you learnt about yourself in your first year of motherhood?

Rozz (Lee, former radio DJ) told me a few months before I was due to give birth, “Oh, it’s so exciting, you’re about to meet someone new, and I’m not just talking about the baby.” 

And she was right – this past year has taught me so much about myself. I’ve never been this clear about myself and what I want out of life and I think a lot of that has to do with me not being the centre of my universe anymore.

There is now something else more important and it’s really changed how I view the world.

What are your favourite – and least favourite – things about being a mum?

My favourite thing – and this will sound so cliche, but it’s the truth – is seeing the world through her eyes. As she takes everything in for the first time, I feel so lucky to get to experience that alongside her.

My least favourite is that it sometimes feels like there’s so much to do and not enough time to do it. But I’ve also realised that a lot of that stress comes from the pressure I put on myself, so I’m learning how to be kinder to myself. 

The first few months of parenthood drove me and my husband a little crazy. How has parenthood changed your relationship with your partner?

Parenthood made Louie and me stronger because it showed us how in sync we are. Sure, we have our few cranky arguments here and there, but we’ve always approached each challenge as an ‘Us vs The Problem’ situation rather than keeping tabs or holding score. 

I do think it’s also important to say that we are quite lucky because our little one was, and still is, a really, really easy baby. 

How do you handle work and caring for your daughter?

I have so much respect and admiration for mothers who return to work, especially soon after birth. It’s not easy at all. 

I recognise that I’m privileged as I can spend 90 per cent of my time with my daughter while still working, so it’s different from most other working mothers. But I did feel the pressure to show that, “Hey I’m still working! I’m still here! Like I’m singing and performing even though I had a kid just one month ago!” 

I had to be honest with myself and realise that I can hold space for two truths: I love my career, and I love being a mum. And sometimes, it’s okay to embrace one more than the other. 

Working as a mum also taught me to be more selective with my time and who I choose to give my time to. Time is a precious commodity now, I don’t want to squander it like I used to. 

Do you believe in the need to “refill your cup” as a mum?

It’s so important for mums to have the time to do things for themselves. I truly believe that the better we care for ourselves, the better we can show up for our partners and children. 

Doing activities like getting my nails done, hanging out at a cafe by myself, spending time with my close friends, or going on date night with my partner, brings me so much joy. They retain my sense of self and fill me with love that I can then pour into my little one. 

New mums often talk about the tension between their new role and their former selves. How have you navigated this shift in identity?

I feel like a completely new person. The old me is dead and gone, and I’m completely fine with that. 

There were a lot of shifts that happened the moment I realised I was pregnant. Now, I feel much more centred, driven, focused and stronger. I trust my instincts and voice more, my perspectives have changed, and things that served me before no longer serve me now. 

I’ve said this a few times before and I’ll say it again – becoming a mum changed me for the better. I’m 100 per cent leaning into this new and improved version of myself, and I’m still learning more about who I’ll become.

How do you decide what parts of motherhood to share on social media?

If I hadn’t pursued the line of work I’m in now, I don’t think I’d have public social media accounts. Social media has always been work-led and work-focused.

And so, I’m always acutely aware of showcasing my family or close friends who are not in the media industry. It’s the same for my daughter. I want to respect her privacy. When she’s old enough and can express her interests, then we can discuss being on social media. 

How do you cope with the challenges of mothering, and who do you turn to for help?

Louie and I don’t have immediate family living in Singapore, and we both were uncomfortable with the idea of getting a helper or nanny, so we’ve worked hard to become the best team ever and I’m so proud of everything we’ve accomplished in our daughter’s first year, and our first year as parents.

People laugh whenever I say this, but the internet was our best friend – we asked it everything and anything, and we always found our answer. 

I also had a handful of mums around me who were eager to help with advice or their own experiences, which made a huge difference.

What’s something you’d like to tell other new mums?

Trust yourself. Trust that you know yourself better than anyone and you know your baby better than anyone. I’ve learnt in this past year that my instincts are spot on, and it serves me well to listen from the start. 

Allow the changes to happen. Flow with them, don’t push against them. It makes the experience so much more enjoyable. You’ll be surprised at how well you adapt and how truly strong you are.

Watch Tabitha Nauser perform at the Mediacorp Let’s Celebrate 2025 countdown show on Dec 31, 2024, at OCBC Square, Singapore Sports Hub. Admission is free and activities start at 5pm. 

The countdown show is also live on mewatch, Mediacorp Entertainment on YouTube and Mediacorp TikTok from 10pm, and on Channel 5, from 11pm to 12.15am.

CNA Women is a section on CNA Lifestyle that seeks to inform, empower and inspire the modern woman. If you have women-related news, issues and ideas to share with us, email CNAWomen [at] mediacorp.com.sg.